I COULD NOT RESIST

SO THIS POST IS IN CAPSLOCK BECAUSE IT'S LIKE, CRACK THOUGHTS, YOU KNOW. AND I SOUND LIKE A TROLL. AND I KNOW NO ONE REALLY READS THIS BLOG ANYMORE.

SO I WAS THINKING OF GYMNASTICS. AND TENNIS. AND HOW THE PEOPLE I LIKE SEEM SO... SIMILAR, IN A WAY. LET'S LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

TENNIS: JUSTINE HENIN (DUH. WHO ELSE DO I NORMALLY TALK ABOUT APART FROM JUSTINE, IF I TALK ABOUT TENNIS?)
GYMNASTICS: SHAWN JOHNSON AND NASTIA LIUKIN (AND I JUST HAVE TO ADD ALICIA SACRAMONE)

COMPARE: SHAWN AND JUSTINE
- PEOPLE SAY THAT SHAWN'S OLYMPICS AA HOPES/EXPECTATIONS/NEXT MARY LOU RETTON/BEAT WHOLE FIELD TO CRAP THING WAS BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION, BECAUSE A LOT OF THE REALLY GOOD ALL AROUND-ERS WERE INJURED IN 07 (LIKE, SAY, NASTIA AND CHELLSIE MEMMEL), WHEN SHE WON PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING.

WHEN JUSTINE WAS SWEEPING THE GRAND SLAMS, IN FACT, IN ALMOST ALL THE GRAND SLAMS JUSTINE WON, HATERS WERE SAYING, "WELL, SHE WON BECAUSE SO AND SO (A PARTICULAR SERENA WILLIAMS) WAS INJURED, BLA, BLA" AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED IN THE 07 US OPEN. SHE BEAT THE WILLIAMS SISTERS. BACK TO BACK. THEN WON THE US OPEN. IN STRAIGHT SETS. TALK ABOUT GIVING IT BACK TO THE IDIOTS. JUSTINE'S A GREAT TENNIS PLAYER IN HER OWN RIGHT. SHE PRACTICALLY OWNS THE PEOPLE ON TOUR. THE TOUR RIGHT NOW IS MAJOR SUCKAGE. SHAWN'S A GREAT GYMNAST, TOO. JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE HER STYLE DOESN'T MEAN SHE ISN'T GOOD.

- THEIR STYLES IN THEIR SPORTS ARE AGAINST THE MAINSTREAM. JUSTINE BROUGHT THE REALLY, REALLY BEAUTIFUL/ARTISTIC ASPECTS TO TENNIS, WHILE THE REST OF THE TOUR WAS JUST BASHING BALLS. JUSTINE COULD BASH BALLS, BUT MADE IT LOOK *PRETTY*, ALL AT ONCE. IT WAS BREATHTAKING. AFTER WATCHING JUSTINE, IT'S LIKE, "DUDE, WHY'RE YOU SWINGING YOUR RACKET SO *SLOWLY*?"

SHAWN BRINGS THE REALLY ATHLETIC ASPECT INTO GYMNASTICS - POWERFUL TUMBLING, GREAT TWISTS, HIGH DIFFICULTY. SHE LITERALLY STICKS ONTO A BALANCE BEAM. BUT OF COURSE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT, BECAUSE IT'S *ARTISTIC* GYMNASTICS. BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S SHAWN'S FAULT THAT SHE ISN'T WHAT YOU LIKE. IT'S THE CODE OF POINTS. LOL. AND IF PEOPLE LIKED MARIA SHARAPOVA OR SERENA WILLIAM'S BALL BASHING IN TENNIS, I CAN TOLERATE SHAWN'S GYMNASTICS (WHICH, GRANTED, I'M MORE INCLINED TO O_O THROUGH SHAWN'S GYMNASTICS THAN WHEN WATCHING NASTIA'S. I DON'T KNOW WHY)

- THEY'RE SMALL. HEE.

I JUST HAD TO SAY THAT. SHAWN'S TINY AT 4'10", AND JUSTINE'S LIKE SHAWN WHEN IT COMES TO TENNIS. OKAY, JUSTINE'S 5'5", WHICH IS TALLER THAN ME, BUT WHEN SHE STANDS BESIDE REGULAR TALL PEOPLE LIKE SHARAPOVA AND SAFINA (WHO ARE BOTH 6'2", AND ARE A HEAD TALLER THAN HER) AND DAVENPORT (WHO'S TALLER THAN SHARAPOVA), SHE'S TINY IN TERMS OF TENNIS. BUT JUSTINE CAN SERVE AS FAST AS VENUS WILLIAMS, WHO IS 7 INCHES TALLER. AND HEIGHT IS A VERY BIG ADVANTAGE IN TENNIS, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SERVING. EVER WONDERED WHY JUSTINE'S FIRST SERVE PERCENTAGE IS CONSIDERED GOOD WHEN IT'S ABOVE 60%? IT'S BECAUSE OF HEIGHT.

I DEMAND ADIDAS TO HAVE AN AD CAMPAIGN STARRING THE TWO OF THEM. OR THAT, WHEN ALICIA SACRAMONE HAS HER FASHION LINE FOR VERTICALLY CHALLENGED PEOPLE, SHE COULD TOTES HAVE IT WITH ADIDAS LIKE STELLA MCCARTNEY, AND HAVE JUSTINE AND SHAWNIE IN THE FOREFRONT. ALTHOUGH NASTIA INSTEAD OF JUSTINE WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE, BECAUSE JUSTINE'S WAY TALLER THAN THOSE GYMNASTS. BUT 4CM TALLER THAN NAS(AND CHELLSIE) ISN'T MUCH, RIGHT? RIGHT?

- THEY TRAIN SMART, MORE THAN HARD. IT'S THE REASON WHY SHAWN'S BIGGEST INJURY SCARE SO FAR WAS AN ALMOST-STRESS FRACTURE ON HER ANKLE... LAST YEAR, I THINK, AND JUSTINE'S HAD A RELATIVELY HEALTHY '06, '07 SEASON. SHAWN TRAINS, LIKE, 3 HOURS LESS EACH DAY THAN AN AVERAGE GYMNAST, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN HER TRAINING ISN'T INTENSE.

- THEY BOTH HAVE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALS. LOL. IT'S JUST DIFFERENT YEARS, THAT'S ALL. XD

- CANCER AWARENESS CAMPAIGNS! SHAWN'S DOING THE WHOLE CANCER.NET, FROSTED PINK WITH A TWIST THING, RAISING AWARENESS FOR CANCER (PARTICULARLY BREAST CANCER), WHILE JUSTINE HAS HER OWN FOUNDATION FOR CHILDREN WITH CANCER.

- SHAWN JOHNSON HAD SO MUCH ENERGY AS A 3 YEAR OLD, HER PARENTS SENT HER TO GYMNASTICS TO RELEASE THAT SAID ENERGY.

JUSTINE HENIN LOVED TENNIS SO MUCH AS A 2/3 YEAR OLD, SHE COULD BASH THE APARTMENT WALL DOWN JUST BY HITTING TENNIS BALLS AT IT. HER MOTHER DEMANDED HER FATHER TO LET JUSTINE GO TO THE CLUB WITH THEM SO THEIR HOUSE WON'T FALL APART.

- SPONSORED BY ADIDAS. =D

- FAN-GIVEN NICKNAMES. POCKET ROCKET. MIGHTY MOUSE.

COMPARE: JUSTINE AND NASTIA
- THEY'VE FACED HORRIBLE INJURIES, THEY'RE REALLY FRAGILE FOR THEIR SPORTS, BUT THEY HAVE AWESOME COMEBACKS.

NASTIA HAD THAT HORRIBLE ANKLE INJURY IN '07, WHICH PUT SO MANY THINGS ON HOLD, BUT, HEY, LOOK WHO WON THIS YEAR'S AMERICAN CUP? AND WHO WON ALL AROUND AT THE OLYMPICS?

JUSTINE HAD HAD AN AMAZING '03, AND STARTED OFF '04 WITH AN AUSTRALIAN OPEN WIN, BUT THEN '04 WENT DOWNHILL WITH THE CYTOMEGALOVIRUS. BUT BUT BUT - EVEN WITH THE CMV, SHE WON THE FREAKIN' OLYMPIC GOLD. THEN WENT BACK TO BEDREST. BUT SHE CAME BACK IN '05 TO WIN THE FRENCH OPEN. THEN HER HAMSTRING GAVE HER PROBLEMS. SO HER '05 WAS INSIGNIFICANT. BUT THEN SHE GOT TO ALL THE SLAM FINALS IN '06, WINNING THE FRENCH OPEN (AS USUAL), AND ALSO THE YEC TO END THE YEAR AS NUMBER 1. THE DEPRESSING START TO '07 MADE WAY FOR THE BEST SEASON OF HER CAREER. HAHAHAHAAAAA.

- THEY'RE THE *ARTISTIC* PEOPLE IN THEIR SPORTS. NASTIA'S FREAKISHLY SKINNY LEGS GIVE HER VERY LONG, ELEGANT LINES (ESPECIALLY ON BEAM, WHEN SHE DOES THE NOT-LIUKIN LIUKIN). I DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING FOR JUSTINE. HER TENNIS DOES.

OH, AND IN FORUMS, PEOPLE ALWAYS PUT THEIR SIGNATURES AS "NASTIA LIUKIN - POETRY IN MOTION". WHICH IS, LOL, WHAT A LOT OF JUSTINE FANS PUT TOO. THERE'S THIS FAN WHO UPLOADS JUSTINE MATCHES ONLINE. HIS/HER SITE NAME IS... YOU GUESSED IT - POETRY IN MOTION. LOL.

- THEY'RE BOTH FIERCE. ON THE MAT/FLOOR, NASTIA LIUKIN CAN KILL YOU WITH HER EYES. JUSTINE MAY HAVE THOSE BIG, BROWN 'CARE BEAR' EYES (AS SOME FANS PUT IT), BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ACROSS THE NET, WITH JUSTINE STARING YOU DOWN AFTER A SCORCHING WINNER AND AN "ALLEZ!". JUSTINE HENIN CAN KILL YOU WITH HER TENNIS (AND 'ALLEZ'). SHE TOTES MADE JELENA JANKOVIC CHOKE AWAY THAT '06 USO SEMI'S JUST BY INTIMIDATING THE TALLER TENNIS PLAYER. LOL. AND SHE HAS A 9-0 HEAD TO HEAD WITH JANKOVIC. THAT SAYS SOMETHING.

- NASTIA HAS 9 WORLDS MEDALS, 7 OF WHICH ARE INDIVIDUAL. JUSTINE HAS 9 MAJOR TOURNAMENT TROPHIES (I'M MEANING GRAND SLAM + YEC, 10 IF I COUNT OLYMPICS), 7 OF WHICH ARE GRAND SLAM TITLES. (FYI, JUSTINE HAS 41 SINGLES CAREER TITLES, WHICH, FOR 9 YEARS IN TENNIS, IS A LOT)

- OLYMPIC GOOOOOOLD!

- THEY LIKE THE COLOUR PINK. YES. I AM ADMITTING THE FACT THAT JUSTINE HENIN LIKES PINK. SHE SAID SO SOMETIME AGO. GUESS WHY SHE WORE HOT PINK TO RG '07, RATHER THAN THE POWDER BLUE OPTION FOR THAT COMPETITION SET?

- NASTIA SEEMS UNAPPROACHABLE/IS VERY SERIOUS/FOCUSSED WHEN COMPETING, BUT WHEN NOT, SHE'S MORE TALKATIVE THAN SHAWN, WHO LOVES TO SMILE :D

JUSTINE'S BORDERLINE COLD, AND VERY BUSINESS LIKE IN MATCHES (IT'S RARE TO SEE HER SMILE DURING A MATCH) AND POST-MATCH INTERVIEWS, BUT SHE CAN BE SARCASTIC/WITTY/FUNNY WHEN NEEDED. LIKE WHEN IDIOTIC JOURNALISTS DO IDIOTIC THINGS. OH, AND HAVE YOU SEEN THAT 20 MINUTE DOCUMENTARY THING ON THE TENNIS CHANNEL? 'NO STRINGS'? AND THAT BELGIAN TV SPECIAL 'UN STAR UN FEMME'? GRANTED, I HAVE YET TO WATCH THE LATTER (IT'S IN FRENCH. ALL OF IT. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I UNDERSTAND FRENCH?!), BUT APPARENTLY IT'S REALLY GOOD.

- NASTIA ALSO DOES THE CANCER AWARENESS THING, BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM AS PROMINENT AS SHAWN'S EFFORTS TO ME. BUT THEN AGAIN, SHAWN LITERALLY LOOKED SO WIPED SHE COULD HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP IN SOME OF THE INTERVIEWS, SO...

- NASTIA WAS *BORN* TO DO GYMNASTICS. IT'S ENCODED IN HER DNA. SHE SPENT HER DAYS AS A TODDLER IN THE GYM BECAUSE HER PARENTS COULD NOT AFFORD A BABYSITTER. SHE DECIDED TO LEARN GYMNASTICS BY SIGHT.

JUSTINE PROBABLY WAS NOT BORN TO DO TENNIS LIKE NASTIA WAS FOR GYMNASTICS, BUT SHE SPENT HER DAYS AS A KID AT THE CLUB OPPOSITE THEIR HOME, FOLLOWING HER BROTHERS AROUND. HER BROTHERS PLAYED TENNIS, OR SOMETHING TO THAT EXTENT. SHE PICKED UP A RACKET. SHE REFUSED TO LET GO. FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS, TENNIS WAS HER LIFE.

- ALSO SPONSORED BY ADIDAS =D

COMPARING: JUSTINE AND ALICIA
- THEIR REASONS FOR RETIREMENT... ARE... SO... SIMILAR. LOL. I MEAN, ASAC HASN'T OFFICIALLY RELEASED A STATEMENT OF HER RETIREMENT YET, AND SHE MAY JUST DELVE INTO THE WORLD OF DIVING, BUT SHE DID SAY IN AN INTERVIEW THAT SHE ISN'T REALLY PLANNING TO DO GYMNASTICS ANYMORE. SO ANYWAY, TO COMPARE THEIR RETIREMENT REASONS -

JUSTINE: THERE'S MORE TO LIFE! FAMILY! FRIENDS! MY STUDIES! MY FOUNDATIONS! IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON! AND ALL THESE... INJURIES! I'M OLDER NOW, MY BODY ISN'T HOLDING UP SO WELL ANYMORE. OH, AND BECAUSE OF THE OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE - I'VE REALIZED THAT THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN TENNIS.(OKAY, I'M OBVIOUSLY PARAPHRASING, BUT THAT'S THE BASIC GIST OF IT).

ALICIA: THERE'S MORE TO LIFE! SCHOOL/STUDIES/BROWN UNIVERSITY (DARNIT, IVY LEAGUE)! FASHION! IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON! AND MY BODY! AFTER THESE OLYMPICS - DAMN, [LISTS INJURIES - POPPED KNEECAP, TORN SHOULDER LABRUM, ETC] MY BODY DOESN'T HOLD UP SO WELL ANYMORE. I'LL PROBABLY STILL PERFORM, BUT NO MORE COMPETING. THERE IS, AFTER ALL, MORE TO LIFE THAN GYMNASTICS. (CLEARLY NOT QUOTING ASAC DIRECTLY. DON'T KILL ME)

LOL. SERIOUSLY. I JUST REALIZED HOW SIMILAR THEIR REASONS WERE.

- THEY BOTH HAD SURGERY IN THE KNEE. LAME, I KNOW, BUT I RECALL JUSTINE HAVING A STRESS FRACTURE IN HER KNEE PRE-AO '05, AND SHE MOST RECENTLY HAD A KNEE OP BECAUSE HER KNEE WAS ALWAYS SUCK A NUISANCE.

SACRAMONE'S KNEE GAVE HER PROBLEMS, APPARENTLY. I DON'T KNOW TO WHAT EXTENT, I ONLY BECAME A FAN 2 MONTHS AGO, BUT... YEAH.

- HAVE YOU SEEN SACRAMONE JUMP/TUMBLE?! SHE GETS SO MUCH AIR FROM HER JUMPS! SO... HIGH! SERIOUSLY!

JUSTINE'S RACKETHEAD SPEED IS INSANE. I THINK SHE COULD KILL SOMEONE BY SWINGING A RACKET. I MEAN, I'M SURE THE WTA TOP 10 CAN KILL SOMEONE JUST BY SWINGING THEIR RACKETS, BUT I THINK, GIVEN THE RIGHT ANGLES AND WHATNOT, JUSTINE COULD SWIPE YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF YOUR SHOULDERS.

- SACRAMONE CONSTANTLY FANGIRLS OVER JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (EW), JUSTINE FANGIRLS OVER THAT FRENCH SINGER GUY, JONNY HALLYDAY. OH, AND CELINE DION. LOL.

- HECK, THE WHOLE USWGT ARE SPONSORED BY ADIDAS. (BUT NASTIA AND SHAWN HAVE EXCLUSIVE INDIVIDUAL CONTRACTS. YAY, THEM)

- ASAC'S ULTIMATE TAI KACHE! FOR THE USWGT. JUSTINE WAS THE MOST EXPERIENCED IN THE BELGIUM FED CUP TEAM OF '06 (WHY DID KIM CLIJSTERS HAVE TO BE INJURED? BELGIUM SHOULD HAVE WON THAT FED CUP), MAKING HER THE TAI KACHE OF THAT YEAR'S FED CUP TEAM. JUSTINE DID NOT COMPETE FED CUP IN '07 OR '08.

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I WAS STUDYING HISTORY, OKAY?! I JUST... DECIDED TO POST THIS PIECE OF SYIOK-SENDIRI NESS, WHICH I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE MIN SHEN FROWN UPON/ROLLS HER EYES AT.

I MISS JUSTINE.

I GUESS I'M GOING TO MISS SACRAMONE TOO. BUT I DON'T KNOW. I'LL WAIT AND SEE.

THIS POST WAS A MILE LONG. I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF.

BACK TO SEJARAH!